Loving your pet, even when they are gone...
Sittin on a park bench.
With my little Marie. She sits so still and quiet, like a perfect lady. I am so thankful for her serene presence. It makes me think of what sitting on a park bench without her will be like. It will lose it's purpose. There wouldn't be as much of a point sitting there without her as the reason.
Pets give us a daily structure. They bring to us a daily presence, one that we may take for granted on a day to day basis, but we are so aware of that empty space when they are gone.
Losing a loved pet is hard just for that very reason. They are with us every single day. Always. We may be sleeping, watching t.v., working, whatever. But some part of our mind knows that they are there and that we are not alone. We take it as a given that they are there. So when they pass on and leave us, we are stunned at the hurt and pain of our grief.
It is like losing a part of yourself. Something that is so much a part of your life that you may not notice until it is too late.
I do not want to take Marie for granted. Today I am aware of those times that I have done so. She follows me everywhere, she comes in the car with me everywhere. I talk to her, I give her adventures, but maybe I do not pet her enough (of course others pet her endlessly...).
I do not want her to pass on without having gotten the best life she could ever have. I am going to give her lots of love today. I know there are so many people out there who would do anything for the chance to give there little furry one love today. Hugs. Kisses. Treats.
So if your little one is still with you, go give him or her a hug, a treat, a kiss. And by doing so you will be giving a hug, a treat, a kiss, to all those loved ones who have already moved on.
They will feel your love. Believe me.
And if your angel has passed on to the Rainbow Bridge, just 'feel' them for awhile. Your cat or dog doesn't need to be sitting right next to you for you to give them a connection. If they are gone, you can still send them your love. You can still open up and feel the love they have, and always will have, for you.
It never goes away. It just changes.
The new year is here. We look forward to it with new promises, the sense of new life, and our focus is on the future.
That does not mean we have forgotten our past and those that were with us then, but are not now.
It means we have a choice. We can choose which memories to keep, to honor, to cherish. And which ones no longer do us any good.
We can decide where to place our memories. We can decide to honor a lost pet with love. Keeping the love, and allowing the hurt to stay behind. If the pain is old enough, we can say goodbye to it. We can make that choice. And by doing so we do not diminish the memory of our loved one at all. In fact, we are creating more space in our hearts to remember the joy and happiness we shared. If that is what we choose is the most important.
It is amazing how powerful we can be. I am amazed by it every day.
We all have choice. Just let go and choose.
Holidays are supposed to be a time of family, love, togetherness. All of which is wonderful and I wish upon all of you.
I know that at times, when we are yearning for closeness, we sometimes feel the distance of our departed ones more strongly.
For those of us who buy holiday gifts for our cat or dog, we will notice an empty space there.
For those of us who put the plates down after the holiday meal, to let our pets lick up the juices, we will notice those dishes when they are not licked 'til they shine. (yes, my two sisters, I am referring to you...)
Togetherness can magnify absence. It is part of life, it makes us human. Let it happen. Acknowledge the loss, acknowledge the space. Let it open your heart even more to those around you. Let it open your heart for fill that space. Donate, buy a gift for your neighbors kitty, hug someone extra hard.
Allow yourself to be real. Allow yourself to cry. If we put on a false front, it just keeps us from connecting with others, which makes us feel more alone, makes us feel the absence of loved ones even more.
Let us be human this holiday season. Even in grief, even in longing, we can open ourselves up to the love that is out there, present and real.
The amazing this is that when you do this, you will find that hole of absence, of loss, to be filled from the most unexpected places.
Give yourself that chance...
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