Three great losses. Each one, in life and in death, so very different.
I want to speak to the different kinds of death they represent and how our feelings tend to reflect those differences.
Ed McMahon.
He had a great, wonderful life. He lived a whole 86 years. We feel the loss, but it is o.k., as we knew it was a life well lived, long lived, and we knew he was reaching the end of his life, as to be expected. And so we mourn him, but not with such a sadness that is filled with grief, but a sadness of losing an old acquaintance.
Farrah Faucet.
She had a shorter life. In our terms, too short and that brings grief. She had cancer, we knew it, so, while her death was shocking, again, being so young, we has some part of our brain ready for it, as we knew she had a difficult disease with the possibility of death coming from that. Therefore our sense of loss is stronger, as now it is more than the sadness of losing an old acquaintance, but something that was tragic as well.
Michael Jackson.
Unexpected. So young. So out of the blue. Our grief is more intense as we were not prepared, he did not live a ‘full term’ of life. So we have the loss of an acquaintance, the shock of the unexpected, and, the feeling of half his life being unlived. Michael’s death combines those three elements of loss and death, and that is why we are reacting the strongest to his death. (Added to that, many of us have our own personal memories that have been defined, even created by his music.) We have the sadness of losing an old acquaintance, the tragedy of dying young, and the shock of having it just come at us out of the blue.
I have heard a lot of talk comparing their deaths and our feelings, and just wanted to help explain our reactions to them.
I am sorry for all their losses. They all gave gifts to this world that are greatly appreciated. And they will be wonderfully remembered.
Bless you all,
Alexandra
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p.s. I wanted to also remember the late and great Koko Taylor, who recently passed. I feel fortunate for getting to see her live a few years back. Truly an icon.